Rewind: The Bachelor, Officer and a Gentleman, Episode 7

A pretty low drama episode this week, with Andy taking Danielle, Bevin and Tessa to his adopted state of Hawaii. He and Tessa went zip-lining, then spent a romantic evening together. Then it was a catamaran with Danielle and, not surprisingly, a romantic evening together. With Bevin, Andy went on a kayak/waterfall adventure, then, shocker, they spent a romantic evening together.

Here are my thoughts as I watched the episode:

• Andy looks like a Ken doll in this opening scene, carrying his surfboard. Why wasn't this entire show set in Hawaii so we'd get more shots like this?
• I have never noticed it before, but Andy is a toe-walker. Basically, if you are unfamiliar with the term, it's how dorky guys walk, toe first, then heel, which gives them a girly, bouncy step. It's very disconcerting to see Andy tow-walking in his Navy Whites.
• Maybe I'm cheeezy, but I'm loving the patriotic stuff on the Arizona. It's nice to see the pride he has in his service. Okay, enough serious stuff - how long till they're in a hot tub?
• Danielle - waaaay to much makeup, sweetheart. She has blush lines like Miss Piggy.
• Did Andy get choked up when he said good bye to Tessa after touring the Arizona? I am pretty sure he did! Could that have given his choice away?
• Is it just me or is Tessa pulling back when she kisses Andy?
• Oh, Lord. Are we going to play surprised at the fantasy suite card? Really? After all these years? And in the promos they made it seem like Tessa really had to think about it. Bullshit. She accepted it right away!
• Not sure how I feel about the soft core porn underwater snorkeling scenes with Danielle. Is Andy just trying to cross something off his list?
• This time Danielle get the "Love Lift Us Up" in the background. It's a bit more appropriate out on the catamaran than it was in the Nicole Miller store, yet still so cheesy I could puke.
• Danielle looks hotter in Hawaii with less makeup). I don't know why, but she just does.
• So the room he went to with Danielle looks exactly the same as the room he went to with Tessa. That's awkward.
• I'm thinking the producers hate Bevin. The girl sprained her ankle, so they send her on a hike in the rainforest? Then they make her go in an brown algae filled lake? I know they cheered at the end in the production room when Andy proposed, so now I'm thinking he doesn't propose to Bevin. Is she the kind of girl that elicits cheers? No, that would be Tessa.
• When he's talking to Bevin about her divorce, Andy reminds me of the Chris Farley skit where he interviews stars: "Um, remember when you were like, in that movie? With that stuff where the thing blew up? That was really cool."
• Bevin pulled out the L word first and seemed to be giggling with the dude interviewing her. Do I have to second guess my Tessa prediction now?
• I am so pathetic. I am just loving this conversation between Andy and his best friend. Andy certainly knows the women well, which you can't say for most Bachelors. It helps that none of them are uber-bitches.

So we get to the rose ceremony. Is there any doubt that Danielle is going home at this point? Was anyone surprised? She should have to go home just for wearing a black lace dress in Hawaii. Chris Harrison was even appropriately dressed, for God's sake! Even when they said goodbye, I wasn't feeling it. You could tell he made the right decision and he knew it, even with the tears. Andy and the girls head off to Lancaster, PA next week.