Rewind: The Bachelor, Officer and a Gentleman, Episode 7

A pretty low drama episode this week, with Andy taking Danielle, Bevin and Tessa to his adopted state of Hawaii. He and Tessa went zip-lining, then spent a romantic evening together. Then it was a catamaran with Danielle and, not surprisingly, a romantic evening together. With Bevin, Andy went on a kayak/waterfall adventure, then, shocker, they spent a romantic evening together.

Here are my thoughts as I watched the episode:

• Andy looks like a Ken doll in this opening scene, carrying his surfboard. Why wasn't this entire show set in Hawaii so we'd get more shots like this?
• I have never noticed it before, but Andy is a toe-walker. Basically, if you are unfamiliar with the term, it's how dorky guys walk, toe first, then heel, which gives them a girly, bouncy step. It's very disconcerting to see Andy tow-walking in his Navy Whites.
• Maybe I'm cheeezy, but I'm loving the patriotic stuff on the Arizona. It's nice to see the pride he has in his service. Okay, enough serious stuff - how long till they're in a hot tub?
• Danielle - waaaay to much makeup, sweetheart. She has blush lines like Miss Piggy.
• Did Andy get choked up when he said good bye to Tessa after touring the Arizona? I am pretty sure he did! Could that have given his choice away?
• Is it just me or is Tessa pulling back when she kisses Andy?
• Oh, Lord. Are we going to play surprised at the fantasy suite card? Really? After all these years? And in the promos they made it seem like Tessa really had to think about it. Bullshit. She accepted it right away!
• Not sure how I feel about the soft core porn underwater snorkeling scenes with Danielle. Is Andy just trying to cross something off his list?
• This time Danielle get the "Love Lift Us Up" in the background. It's a bit more appropriate out on the catamaran than it was in the Nicole Miller store, yet still so cheesy I could puke.
• Danielle looks hotter in Hawaii with less makeup). I don't know why, but she just does.
• So the room he went to with Danielle looks exactly the same as the room he went to with Tessa. That's awkward.
• I'm thinking the producers hate Bevin. The girl sprained her ankle, so they send her on a hike in the rainforest? Then they make her go in an brown algae filled lake? I know they cheered at the end in the production room when Andy proposed, so now I'm thinking he doesn't propose to Bevin. Is she the kind of girl that elicits cheers? No, that would be Tessa.
• When he's talking to Bevin about her divorce, Andy reminds me of the Chris Farley skit where he interviews stars: "Um, remember when you were like, in that movie? With that stuff where the thing blew up? That was really cool."
• Bevin pulled out the L word first and seemed to be giggling with the dude interviewing her. Do I have to second guess my Tessa prediction now?
• I am so pathetic. I am just loving this conversation between Andy and his best friend. Andy certainly knows the women well, which you can't say for most Bachelors. It helps that none of them are uber-bitches.

So we get to the rose ceremony. Is there any doubt that Danielle is going home at this point? Was anyone surprised? She should have to go home just for wearing a black lace dress in Hawaii. Chris Harrison was even appropriately dressed, for God's sake! Even when they said goodbye, I wasn't feeling it. You could tell he made the right decision and he knew it, even with the tears. Andy and the girls head off to Lancaster, PA next week.

Rewind: The Bachelor, Officer and a Gentleman, Episode 6

This week, Andy went on hometown dates with Bevin, Tessa, Danielle, and Amber. He met their families without too much drama. The hometown date episode is one of my favorites because good lord I love it when they skip the stupid cocktail party and go straight to the rose ceremony.

So, based on these hometown dates alone, I would send have sent home Amber and Danielle. Andy gave the first two roses to Bevin and Tessa. But since Andy only gets to send one person home, he gave Amber the boot. I am pretty sure (as discussed below) that her age and dysfunctional family were the main reasons.

There was no dramatic "sorry, my parents are crazy" moments or any drunken Uncle Ted in this episode. Pretty drama free, if you ask me. Well, until the end when Amber called Andy out. He tried to be nice and say it was her age, but then had to come clean and say he liked the other women more than he liked her.

Here are my thoughts as I watched this week's episode:

• Wait just one second. Did he just say he wants to "woo" Tessa? What year is it? 1834? Do men still "woo" women?
• I love that Andy tells like he sees it. For example, he said he has the most chemistry and electricity with Bevin. This seems different than other seasons, where everything The Bachelor said was as vague as vague can be.
• "I'm in heaven when I'm with Bevin." Leave lines like that for seedy bars, Andy.
• I liked the "it's something I don't regret because I learned so much from it" spin by Bevin on her divorce. Girl should work in politics!
• Andy told Bevin that she is the most mature of all the women. Again, telling one woman how she compares to the other women is not something The Bachelor usually does.
• Bevin's Dad is a crier. And not a cute crier. Now we know where Bevin gets it from!
• As Bevin herself said, the visit with her family could not have gone smoother. I mean, her mom must have been picking out wedding invitations after that visit.
• Andy said: "I want to trust that in the end, true love will prevail." I can't believe I am going to say this, but I actually believed him. It sounded sincere. He may be winning me over.
• Whoa! Stop the presses! Danielle still lives at home. Andy - that's waaaaay more of a red flag than Bevin's silly divorce. She's 25, for God's sake!
• I'm not feeling the heat with Danielle. Maybe it was the drums and the belly dancing, but it was just so booorrrring. Well, I do have to admit that the kiss at the end was pretty steamy.
• Best question and answer moment of the show: Tessa's mom to Andy: "Do you like to cook?" Andy: "I love to do dishes."
• Andy even said he can tell the other three women are in it to win it, but he was unsure about Tessa. Her response: "Um, I mean, I have this natural instinct to question . . . but I just question how genuine it is." Buh-bye Tessa. It's only a matter of time.
• Why are Andy and Tessa wearing dog tags? Clue me in here, ABC. Let's work on some editing skills.
• Why hasn't Andy been wearing more short-sleeved shirts? Hello, arms!
• In Amber's classroom, Andy replaced the word "amazing" with the word "really."
• Amber's maturity (or lack thereof) came out in her reaction to Andy not meeting her family. Dude, set up a party with your friends if your family sucks. Be positive! Don't cry on network television about it.

We haven't seen a limo freak out like Amber's in a long time. Only confirmation that Andy made the right choice. She pretty much had their lives all planned out in a stalkerish way: "We even go to work at the same time!" As if that is a good foundation for a marriage. Sigh. Good job, Andy.

Next week, the show heads to Hawaii, where we get to see the stupid fantasy suite game played out like it has every other season. Andy has thrown a couple curve balls so far, maybe there are more to come?